Christmas Stories To Be Shared By A Fire: Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis by Tom Waits

Our month-long look at the stories behind some of the most memorable songs and carols of the season begins today with one of the most truly original takes on holiday traditions ever recorded. “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” is an entire novella in a song as sung by the booze-soaked voice of singer/songwriter extraordinaire Tom Waits. It is a throwback song to those pre-Internet times when people used to send Christmas cards to friends and family all around the world. Inside of those cards, an entire year’s worth of memories, hopes and dreams would reside all waiting to be discovered upon arrival by the recipient of your kindest regards. The Christmas cards that would arrive by the handful each day would, once read, be hung up around the house, in essence becoming an art gallery of holiday imagery and mirth that added to the cosy atmosphere at home. The writing of your greeting and the reading of those received was as big a part of the holiday traditions in my home growing up as any other. It is a shame that social media has put such a crimp in it these days. After all, by the time December has come, what is there left for us to say to the world that we haven’t broadcast several hundred times already throughout the year via our ever present computer? But back in the day, oh man! Back in the day, a Christmas card really meant something. 

It is that conceit upon which Tom Waits builds an entire dramatic play on multiple levels in the song “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis”.  Technically, this is not a song about Christmas but rather, a song whose story takes place during the Holidays. Nevertheless, as the story told unfolds within the verses of this song, you can feel the chill in the air and you can imagine a darkened main street bejewelled by coloured strings of lights. This song was included on his 1978 album called Blue Valentine. For someone who is noted for the descriptiveness of the imagery in the storylines told in his songs, many critics have deemed “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” to be Tom Waits at his descriptive best. When performing the song live, as you will see in the upcoming link, Waits often creates an entire dramatic scene by starting with a bit of “Silent Night”, followed by “Christmas Card” and with a little “Goin’ Out of My Head” by Little Anthony and the Imperials thrown in for good measure.

The story told in “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” is narrated by an unnamed prostitute. The narration takes the form of the words in a Christmas card that she has written to a man named Charlie. The song never directly explains the link between Charlie and the hooker but implies that he may have been a soft-hearted former client. In the finest tradition of expository Christmas card letter writing, the hooker updates Charlie on the state of her life. She speaks of having gotten pregnant but being lucky enough to have found a man who has stepped up and is willing to raise the baby as his own. She goes on to say that she has stopped taking drugs and doesn’t drink anymore and is hoping to settle down in Minneapolis, Minnesota and start a new life for herself and her family. The hooker speaks of her connection with Charlie, stating that she thinks of him every time she passes the garage where he works. She mentions remembering the song they shared every time she hears Little Anthony and the Imperials on the radio. Then she closes the story that she is pouring into this card by dropping in a bit of new information that causes everything she has previously said to be seen in a different light. It is a plot twist of musical proportions that creates new questions and leaves the human dynamic of their relationship up for debate, which is the whole point of this song.

We are so preoccupied these days with broadcasting every minute detail of our lives that there is very little of our existence that is left to anyone’s imagination anymore. There was a time not too long ago when the connections we had to others were as tenuous and as precious as the inked phrases carved onto the blank spaces in those cards that we mailed out usually just once a year at Christmas time. The news of our lives was considered gift-worthy, in and of itself. The connection that we maintained with others reminded each recipient that people cared about them and that they were not alone in this world. Today we seek our validation in the form of “likes” and “clicks” and “follows” on social media. Somewhere along the way, trading the mystery and wonder of what awaited us inside of the cards received for the instant, year-long gratification of our social media obsessions feels like a diminishment to me. 

As I write the words for this post, there is a postal strike ongoing in Canada. Even if I wanted to send out one hundred thousand Christmas cards all over the world I cannot at the moment. However, I do intend to maintain our family’s neighbourhood tradition of hand delivering a card and small gift made by my daughter to each home on our street. She and I will start working on that project in the days to come, with a delivery date of mid-December in mind. We enjoy spreading a little cheer to those who live closest to us and, in turn, we value the responses in kind we receive from them. There is something important about being connected to others in a positive way. I feel that this is especially so as we enter uncertain times in the new year.

“Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” is a story of a personal connection of another sort. Our world is populated with all manner of people, each possessing all manner of stories. The one Tom Waits shares in this song is an unforgettable peek inside the lives of two people who live at the dark end of the street, as the song says. His live performance is unlike almost anything you have ever seen. He wrings out every possible drop of emotion and drama as he sings and plays the piano. I particularly like the reaction of the audience who, initially, find his antics amusing but, by the end, are sitting in stunned silence. Tom Waits is a master storyteller and a wonderful showman. “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” is a heck of a song.

Happy Holidays to you all. Connect with those you hold closest, along with those you don’t know so well.  Let us all join hands and face the future together as one. It is safer and so much warmer that way.

The link to the video for the song “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” by Tom Waits can be found here.  ***The lyrics version is here.

The link to the video for the song “Goin’ Out Of My Head” by Little Anthony and the Imperials can be found here. ***The lyrics version is here.

The link to the video for the carol “Silent Night” as sung by Frank Sinatra can be found here. ***The lyrics version is here.

The link to the official website for Tom Waits can be found here.

The link to the official website for Minneapolis, Minnesota can be found here.

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