Who’s Punk?! What’s the score?! Song #1/25: Boxcar by Jawbreaker.

NOTE: This post marks the start of a brand new series that is dedicated to one of my favourite genres of music….Punk Rock! There is just something about the energy, intimacy, idealism and simplicity of Punk music that does it for me. In each of the twenty-five posts in this series, it is my hope to profile one of Punk’s most influential, successful and/or notorious bands and, in doing so, hopefully provide you all with a greater understanding of the depth and breadth of this musical form. Now having said all of that, I am fully aware that Punk music isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. If that is true for you, then by all means, feel free to read these posts if you like. Perhaps you will end up broadening your musical perspectives. If not, then you can move on to the other genres I cover in the Classical, Canadian, Soundtrack/Show Tune or Reader’s Choice categories. I like lots of music. There is something for everyone. Today, that something revolves around one of Punk Rock’s most influential bands, Jawbreaker. So, welcome aboard to those of you who have decided to stay. I am happy that you are here. Let’s go!!!!!!

The title for this series, Who’s Punk?! What’s the Score?! is taken from a line in the song “Boxcar” by Jawbreaker. The song itself, and this line, in particular, serve as an appropriate place to begin this series because they deal with the fundamental question of what exactly constitutes a Punk band in the first place. So let’s start with that. There are several traits that are demonstrated consistently by most singers/bands that are regarded as being Punk. First of all, the music is loud. Secondly, it is often played at breakneck speed. Thirdly, the music often has a political element to it. Punk bands tend to play in smaller, more intimate settings and interact with their fans more easily than standard arena rock bands tend to do. Finally, the lyrical structures and musical arrangements are usually simplistic and repetitive. Quick, loud, fast, forceful and sweaty are good attributes to define Punk music. However, there are also some misconceptions about Punk that people have. For example, the image that often comes to mind for people who have not spent a lot of time experiencing the Punk music genre is of bands like The Sex Pistols out of the UK. They were a band who ushered in the look of Punk music, with the torn clothing, the piercings, the spiked hair and so on. Well, that look was certainly part of the Punk Rock world for a time, but it was not how Punk bands originally looked, nor is it how bands look today, as Punk has evolved over the years. The other great misconception about Punk is that all Punk bands are Sex Pistols clones. That is not the case at all. Like many other musical genres, Punk Rock tends to be an umbrella term, under which reside several sub-genres of that style of music. So, as we move through this twenty-five post series, you will be introduced to many bands who came from the various evolutionary eras of this genre. Some will look like the Sex Pistols did but many will not. One of those bands that looks and sounds different is the focus of today’s post: Jawbreaker. Their story is an important one because it helps bring the question of who the real punk bands actually are out into the open. Here is their story. Welcome to the series everyone.

Jawbreaker became popular in the Punk music scene in the early 1990s. If you know your musical history then you will know that the early 1990s was when the big Grunge scene erupted, led by a band out of Seattle called Nirvana. And, if you know anything at all about Nirvana, then you will be aware that all throughout his life, lead singer Kurt Cobain wrestled with his involvement in the business side of the music industry. Ultimately, the pressure of trying to stay true to his musical vision and to who he was as a person while having to deal with money managers and promoters who cared mainly about money was a major factor in his decision to end his life via suicide. When Nirvana was first formed, they embodied a Punk Rock mentality. Their first album, Bleach, is heralded by Punk purists as being their best album. Nirvana’s commercial breakthrough album, Nevermind, was deemed by those same purists as being the beginning of the band becoming a corporate sellout. While Nirvana were the poster boys for bands who were caught in that endless tug of war between commercialism and idealism, there were many other local bands who were experiencing the very same thing.

Jawbreaker found themselves living and performing in and around San Francisco as Grunge exploded to the north. Like many smaller local bands, Jawbreaker began by playing at parties in basements and backyards, before moving on to play in Battle-of-the-Bands events in parks, and then to small pubs and community halls when they became old enough to be allowed inside. Jawbreaker was a trio that consisted of lead singer Blake Schwarzenbach, guitarist Chris Bauermeister and drummer Adam Pfahler. In time, Jawbreaker began to garner some word-of-mouth local buzz and ended up being invited to play at a Punk Rock hall known as Gilman’s. As it turned out, Gilman’s was more than just a physical space for bands to perform in. In a way, the space itself and those who ran it, became church-like in their influence. Part of how this came to be is that there was a rigid set of rules for those who attended Gilman concerts as well as those for bands who played there. For audiences, there were rules such as no violence being permitted. That may seem like an obvious expectation, but it was actually a very important means of separating themselves from the more rightwing, hardcore Punk acts who promoted violence as a means of enacting social change. At Gilman’s, safety was priority #1. Dancing and having fun in a safe, inclusive, alcohol and drug-free environment was strictly enforced. Consequently, Gilman’s developed a reputation in the Punk community as a safe place to be, which was especially important since many of the audience members were still in their teens. For the bands, there was one main rule and that was that no band who sought to play at Gilman’s could be signed to a major record label. The owners of Gilman’s and the kids who flocked there believed in the purity of Punk music. In their minds, even the mere hint that a band might be considering signing a contract with a record label tainted that band and would cause them to be banned from the premises permanently. The first band of note to feel the wrath of the Gilman world was Green Day. Green Day cut their musical teeth at Gilman’s only to find themselves permanently banned when they signed with a major label and released their major label debut album, Dookie, which launched them into superstardom.

So there sat the boys in Jawbreaker. Nirvana and Grunge had taken off. Local bands such as Green Day were being scouted by A & R types from major labels all in search of the next big thing. All the while, bands such as Jawbreaker were playing at Gilman’s and trying to live by the code of purity that fans and management insisted upon. For a while, it all worked well. Jawbreaker signed with a local record label and released their debut album, Unfun, locally only. That album, like Nirvana’s Bleach, was met with approval by the Gilman fans. Jawbreaker had managed to channel their frenetic live shows onto vinyl in a way that helped maintain their street cred. Unfortunately, Unfun didn’t sell that well. It wasn’t because the music was subpar or was poorly produced or received. It was simply because their small, local label didn’t have the marketing infrastructure necessary to promote the album beyond their small, devoted fanbase in San Francisco. Thus, the potential market for their music was limited before the album was ever even made. This placed the men from Jawbreaker squarely in the crosshairs of a conundrum.

The band loved making music. They were happy with the songs on Unfun and were proud to sing them anywhere. But, at the end of the day, they had rent to pay and food to buy and studio time didn’t come cheaply, either. The idealism of being a Punk rocker was crashing headlong into the reality of having to exist in a world that runs on commerce. All of this happened at a time when the band was given what appeared on the surface to be a big break. Kurt Cobain of Nirvana had become aware of Unfun and liked it a lot. He thought that Jawbreaker would be a perfect band to open for them as they toured California, so he invited them to open for Nirvana for six shows. When word leaked out that Jawbreaker might open for a band like Nirvana, who were now considered to be corporate sellouts by Punk purists, the stink of that association was enough to taint Jawbreaker as well. Before they knew what had happened, the fanbase that had nurtured them for years turned on them in an instant. The owners of Gilman’s demanded that the band make a public pledge of allegiance to the local punk scene and declare that they were not going to use this opportunity to open for Nirvana as a way to sign with a major record label. At the last Gilman’s show before embarking on the Nirvana tour, Jawbreaker’s lead singer announced that the band would never sell out. The crowd inside Gilman’s gave them a tepid round of applause. But, the truth was that the audience didn’t completely trust Jawbreaker anymore, and the bonds between audience and band were broken. Lead singer Blake Schwarzenbach took the fallout personally. All he and his bandmates ever wanted was to make music on their terms that they could be proud of. That’s all.

But once on tour, as fans had suspected, the siren song of the corporate rock world played for the boys in Jawbreaker. Knowing what would happen if they signed, the band negotiated a deal which allowed for creative control so they could still sing about their values and beliefs as they had always done. But, as soon as rumours began to swirl that discussions on a contract were being held, that was enough for the band to be banned from Gilman’s and for their fanbase to turn their backs for good. The very second that Jawbreaker signed their contract with Nirvana’s corporate label, they were cast out by their once devoted fanbase into the musical wilderness. With the release of their second album (and major label debut) 24 Hour Revenge Therapy, Jawbreaker found themselves a band in search of a new audience. Since they couldn’t return to San Francisco, Jawbreaker became a touring band. They played everywhere in search of new fans. But the fact was, outside of San Francisco, they were an unknown band, so it was hard for them to find themselves having to return to the beginning and invest years again building up word-of-mouth momentum. They couldn’t afford that creatively nor financially. The frustration and sense of betrayal that they all felt at the complete lack of support and encouragement from those folks who were there from the very beginning manifested itself in the lyrics of a song called “Boxcar”.

“Boxcar” is from 24 Hour Revenge Therapy and is a scathing indictment of Punk purists, especially those at Gilman’s. In a furious two and a half minutes, the song talks about how the scene that nurtured the band turned out to be akin to being with an obsessive dating partner who claimed to love you but would never actually let you exist out of their sight. In the video links I will provide below, listen to the lyrics video first. It will tell a far greater story now that you are aware of the context behind the lyrics. The second video is one that the band made at the time that “Boxcar” was attempting to gain some traction on college radio and on Alternative music radio stations across the U.S. The third video is a live recording of Jawbreaker’s two biggest commercial hits: “I Want You” and “Boxcar”. Besides the fact that both songs are rippin’ versions by a band that knows what it is doing, the key thing to note is that this video was recorded in 2019 at…..wait for it….Gilman’s!!! Wait, what? As time went on, Jawbreaker imploded from the financial pressures the band found itself under, The constant touring under those conditions led to conflicts within the band. Like too many other talented bands, Jawbreaker decided to break up. For over a decade, the members of the band did not play together at all. Meanwhile, back at Gilman’s, those who live by the purity sword ended up dying by it, too. Gilman’s fell upon hard financial times and was forced to close. The fall of Gilman’s created a musical vacuum within the San Francisco community. Eventually, diehard Gilman devotees rallied together and found the funding necessary to relaunch the club. However, in doing so, the new owners learned from the mistakes of the previous regime, specifically, that maintaining such rigid expectations of the bands that played there and helped to generate revenue for them was wrong and needed to be changed. Thus, the new owners of Gilman’s reached out to many of the original successful local acts that had received bans because of their attempts to better themselves and reach a wider audience through the help of major record labels and invited them to return to play. Green Day has played there three times now. As for Jawbreaker, the band reunited and remains playing and touring today. In the third video I will link to, you can see how intimate a venue Gilman’s really was, how close the fans were to the band and, most importantly, how great a band Jawbreaker remains today. “I Want You” and “Boxcar” look like lots of fun. I wish I was there. What a hoot that would have been.

So there you go. Post #1 in the new Punk Rock series has reached its conclusion. How was it? Hopefully, you will be able to see that Punk Rock exists in forms that extend beyond the stereotypical Sex Pistols imagery. When you watch Jawbreaker perform, there are no mohawk haircuts, no piercings that I can see and no violent imagery of any sort. All that there is are three guys who have created great music, playing as hard as they can for their fans and basking in the warm glow of their audience’s enthusiasm. To me, that is what music is all about. Please feel free to leave your comments below. I look forward to seeing where this Punk Rock journey takes us in the twenty-four weeks to come. I hope that you will come along for the ride. Until next time, that’s it for Who’s Punk?! What’s the Score?! Bye for now.

The link for the lyrics video for the song “Boxcar” by Jawbreaker can be found here.

The link to the official video for the song “Boxcar” by Jawbreaker can be found here.

The link to the video for the live version of the songs “I Want You” and “Boxcar” as performed at Gilman’s in San Francisco can be found here.

The link to the official website for Jawbreaker can be found here.

The link to the official website for Gilman’s can be found here.

***As always, all original content contained within this post remains the sole property of the author. No portion of this post shall be reblogged, copied or shared in any manner without the express written consent of the author. ©2023 http://www.tommacinneswriter.com

The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History…Song #11: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. (KEXP)

This list of songs is inspired by lists published by radio station KEXP-FM from Seattle in 2010, as well as the latest poll taken in 2021 by Rolling Stone Magazine. For the most part I will faithfully countdown from their lists, starting at Song #500 and going until I reach Song #1. When you see the song title listed as something like: Song #XXX (KEXP)….it means that I am working off of the official KEXP list. Song XXX (RS) means the song is coming from the Rolling Stone list. If I post the song title as being: Song #xxx (KTOM), it means I have gone rogue and am inserting a song choice from my own personal list of tunes I really like. In any case, you are going to get to hear a great song and learn the story behind it. Finally, just so everyone is aware, I am not a music critic nor a musician. I am a music fan and an armchair storyteller. Here is the story behind today’s song. Enjoy.

KEXP: The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History.

Song #11: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.

Compared to many of the songs that comprise this countdown, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana seems like a new song. But, in reality, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was released in 1992…..which was thirty years ago! Not exactly hot off of the musical presses but, at the same time, I challenge you to find a song as impactful and important in these last thirty years as this song was. If this countdown was restricted to the last quarter-century only, I would have no doubt that “Smells Like Teen Spirit” would be Song #1 on the list. It is just that good and just that important in the grand scheme of things. The story of how the song came to be, the impact it had on the music scene at the time and how it changed the lives of those involved, going forward, is, essentially, the story of modern music, itself, since 1990. So, make yourself comfortable because here comes the story of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana and why it is such a special song. Let’s go!

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” was the lead track on Nirvana’s second album, “Nevermind”. A band’s second album is often a pivotal one in their evolution. There have been many, many artists and bands who worked for years, compiling a list of good, tight songs that ended up on a debut album that, in turn, caught the fancy of listeners and critics, alike. However, there are just as many bands who emptied their creative tank into Album #1 and then, found themselves shooting blanks when it came time to create new material for Album #2. Nirvana was a band that followed the initial course of things by releasing their first album called, “Bleach”. This album was raw and energetic and loud and filled with great lyrics that proved that writer, Kurt Cobain was, perhaps, more than just a young screamer and that Nirvana was, in fact, more than just the latest young band to burst forth in the Seattle area when that music scene that set to explode.

Many of the fans who discovered Nirvana during the “Bleach” days loved them because their music was so rough and unpolished and yet, so filled with intelligence and meaning. As a band, Nirvana eschewed corporate leanings, in favour of raw, pure musicianship. The members of the band, (Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl) were pragmatic enough to know that they wanted their music to pay the bills but, they also knew, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that they wanted to control their message and produce Art on their terms and, if that meant producing music as found on “Bleach” then, so be it. That attitude was embraced by fans who would end up helping to create a new genre of music called, “Grunge”.

Bands who fell under the “Grunge” umbrella were anti-corporate by nature. But, a funny thing happened on the way to Grunge becoming popular with the kids, corporations took notice and came calling. As with any movement that exists in a pure, unsullied form, Corporate America saw Grunge as an untapped marketplace and set about to commodify it. It was against this backdrop that Nirvana released their all-important second album, “Nevermind”. “Nevermind” was produced by a professional producer named Butch Vig. It wasn’t that Vig set out to lead Nirvana into the waiting arms of Corporate America but, he did lend his expertise to the band in ways that helped polish their production values and hence, the overall quality of their sound. It was this collection of songs with “better” production values that caused them to be viewed as more “radio friendly”. The first of these songs to be released was, “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” was written while Kurt Cobain was dating Tobi Vail, one of the lead singers of Riot Grrrl headliners, Bikini Kill. The story is that Vail liked to wear “Teen Spirit” deodorant. One day, Vail’s bandmate, Kathleen Hanna, was teasing Cobain that he smelled like Vail…..that she had marked him with her scent……and so, Hanna took a marker and wrote on a wall in Cobain’s bedroom that “Kurt smells like Teen Spirit, man”. Apparently, Cobain was unaware that Teen Spirit was a deodorant and, instead, thought that Hanna was complimenting him on being in sync with the youth of the day and their sensibilities. So, he was inspired to write the song, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” as sort of an ode to the restlessness and disaffected nature of youth at that time in the late 1980s/early 1990s.

This song, specifically but, also, much of Nirvana’s sound, in general, was mirrored after bands like The Pixies, who mastered the loud-soft-loud style of songwriting and performing. *(You can read about The Pixies and their massive influence on bands such as Nirvana, here). At one point, Cobain was worried that they sounded a bit too much like The Pixies and would, in fact, be viewed as merely ripping them off. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” does follow the loud-soft-loud aesthetic of The Pixies quite closely. However, when the song was officially released, that didn’t seem to matter. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” hit the airwaves and was a huge success almost immediately. Much of the support initially came from “College Radio” and from the local Seattle scene. But, most of the groundswell of interest came from people like me, who were being introduced to Nirvana for the first time via this song.

When I first heard “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, I was impressed by the ferocious drumming, as well as, the intensity of the song as it ramped up out its quiet sections. I was impressed and began following the band more closely after that. However, therein lay the conundrum for Nirvana and their true fans. Many of the fans that first supported Nirvana did so because of the rawness of their album, “Bleach”. They ended up being disappointed because “Nevermind” seemed too polished and professional; with “Smells Like Teen Spirit” not being raw and primal but, instead, having committed the sin of being over-produced. The band was not directly accused of selling out to corporate interests but, at the same time, true fans were disappointed that Nirvana had released a song such as “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.

For the band, the success of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” thrust them clearly to the very forefront of the Grunge scene and, as such, they were deemed as being the spokespeople for an entire generation known as Gen Z. Having a pulpit from which to pontificate was the furthest thing from Kurt Cobain’s mind. He thought it was all ludicrous and pushed back against the attention by accelerating his drug use. At the same time, the band noticed that when they played live, they were seeing fewer and fewer of their original fans and more and more of a crowd who were there to see the “next big thing” because they were followers of trends more than of Art. Suddenly, Nirvana, who had always prided themselves as being pure artists and anti-corporate at their core, found themselves in a media feeding frenzy, alienated from the roots of their scene and they became miserable.

There are many artists who seek out the bright lights and the big stages but, Kurt Cobain was not really one of them. He enjoyed writing songs, playing music and being with likeminded people. But, he did not enjoy the fame and the way his music would become a business venture for many people, more interested in sales figures and advertising opportunities than in the messages contained in the lyrics scribbled in Cobain’s notebooks. For Kurt Cobain, Teen Spirit was never a product to be marketed. It was an ideal that spoke to him and that he, by extension, wanted to share with others who felt left out of the flow of mainstream life, as he did. Kurt Cobain was never the popular man on campus. He was always an outsider. In fact, he acted more like a feminist….being drawn to, and supporting, strong women, like the girls in Bikini Kill *(who you can read about here) and mentor and muse, Patti Smith. The more I have read about Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, the less I am surprised that, in the time after his death by suicide, the best covers of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” were all performed by strong women such as Smith and Tori Amos. The real person that Cobain was seemed to be was someone able to tap into that feminine sensibility and that is, arguably, more in tune with the man he thought he was and that he wanted to continue to become, above all else.

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” raced into the #1 chart position and helped make Nirvana the biggest band in the world at the time. All of this attention shook Cobain. Nirvana managed to record one more album called, “In Utero” which was more introspective than “Nevermind” but still, filled with great songs. When the news of Cobain’s suicide was announced on TV, it had the same impact for those in Generation Z, as the deaths of Elvis and John Lennon did for Boomers. It felt as though an entire genre of great music had been cancelled all at once. Other Grunge bands such as Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains had some moderate success but only Pearl Jam had any lasting fame and, even with them, they are mostly touring and playing old material now, like so many other nostalgia acts out there. The spirit of Grunge seems to have fizzled out with Cobain’s death which, if you really look at it, was attributable to having achieved too much success to begin with. Which leaves “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, despite its’ enormous success, as actually having quite a complicated legacy.

I, for one, still think this song really rocks. In particular, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was my introduction to Dave Grohl. His drumming on this song blew my mind! What ferocity and power! His personality, which shone in comparison to the introverted, Cobain, has always attracted me and I have faithfully followed his career, as he transitioned from Nirvana and the tragedy of his friend, Kurt’s death, to finding new success as lead singer/guitar player of today’s biggest band, Foo Fighters. Amazingly enough, poor Dave Grohl suffered another music-related tragedy just recently, with the death of Foo Fighters drummer, and Grohl’s new best friend, Taylor Hawkins. It is almost too much loss to be believed for Grohl. As I write these words, Foo Fighters have cancelled all remaining tour dates. My wish is for Dave Grohl to be alright and to achieve some semblance of emotional peace in the days and weeks to come.

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” remains the song that is the face of an entire genre of music. No amount of sad consequences can alter the fact that this song was the most important and impactful song to emerge in the last quarter-century. It is a song that still packs a punch that is undeniably loud and forceful. It stands as the only song on my personal playlist for which albinos and mosquitos play a prominent role. It is the only song I love that was inspired…even if it was unintentionally…..by an underarm deodorant. It is “Smells Like Teen Spirit”……there is nothing else like it in this countdown. Please enjoy it in all of its glory.

The link to the video for the song, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana, can be found here.

The link to the official website for Nirvana, can be found here.

The link to the video for the song, “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, as covered by Tori Amos, can be found here.

The link to the official website for Tori Amos, can be found here.

The link to the video for the song, “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, as covered by Patti Smith, can be found here.

The link to the official website for Patti Smith, can be found here.

Thanks, as always, to KEXP, for being located at the scene of one of the best music scenes in history. The link to their wonderful website can be found here.

The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History…Song #247: All Apologies by Nirvana (KEXP)

This list of songs is inspired by lists published by radio station KEXP-FM from Seattle in 2010, as well as the latest poll taken in 2021 by Rolling Stone Magazine. For the most part I will faithfully countdown from their lists, starting at Song #500 and going until I reach Song #1. When you see the song title listed as something like: Song #XXX (KEXP)….it means that I am working off of the official KEXP list. Song XXX (RS) means the song is coming from the Rolling Stone list. If I post the song title as being: Song #xxx (KTOM), it means I have gone rogue and am inserting a song choice from my own personal list of tunes I really like. In any case, you are going to get to hear a great song and learn the story behind it. Finally, just so everyone is aware, I am not a music critic nor a musician. I am a music fan and an armchair storyteller. Here is the story behind today’s song. Enjoy.

KEXP: The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History.

Song #247: All Apologies by Nirvana.

“All Apologies” is the final track on Nirvana’s final studio album, “In Utero”. Compared to many Nirvana songs, “All Apologies” is quieter and more reflective. While the song was released as a single, it really came to the attention of the public via an MTV Unplugged acoustic concert in which Kurt Cobain and the band are surrounded by candlelight, amid a silent, awestruck audience. In the MTV Unplugged video, the individual notes played by Cobain, bassist, Krist Novoselic and drummer, Dave Grohl, are crackingly clear. Cobain’s voice has rarely been as emotive as it was during this performance. Out of all of the MTV Unplugged concerts, with numerous talented singers and bands, many critics rate Nirvana’s performance as being the best of all-time.

The song, “All Apologies” finds Cobain reflecting on his life, mere months/weeks before he was to commit suicide. Cobain always had mixed feelings about his music. He strove for the integrity of the Art in music-making and not the industry that surrounds it. The more successful he and the band became, the more he wrestled with his role. Was he contributing to the continuation of a business that he despised and, by doing so, was now complicit in all that was wrong with the music industry? Was there still room for Art and the poetry of his lyrics? Was everything just marketing now?

In his personal life, he had married the enchantress who he found irrestible, Courtney Love. Together, they had given birth to a girl that they named Frances Bean. So, in addition to all that was plaguing him in his career, he now felt the weight of the responsibilities that came from being a husband and father. When you have children, life changes. Priorities change. Nothing is the same, ever again. For me, that life change lifted me up into a higher plain of happiness. For Cobain, who presented as bi-polar and who spent an entire lifetime straddling that line between depression/mental illness and creative genius, his life changes were weighing him down. As we know, not long after the release of “In Utero” and the debut of “All Apologies” as a single, Cobain ended his pain by taking his own life in his home.

The lyrics to “All Apologies” read like a biography of who Cobain was, how he felt about his life and his future, too. He uses the phrase, “In the sun I feel as one” to comment on how unaccepting a community the Pacific Northwest was for him growing up and how, being in any other place (in the sun, rather than the rainy Northwest) would have been better than living where he was. He, also, talked about the burdens that come with seeing life’s complexities and contradictions more clearly than most, when he sings scathingly, “I wish I was like you…..easily amused”. Cobain also, uses the words, “Married” and “Buried” as declarative statements of where his life is at now and, perhaps, where his life is headed. There are many people who point to “All Apologies”, because it was the final thought expressed on the final Nirvana album, that it is a musical suicide note. Whether or not that is what Cobain intended is pure speculation but, never-the-less, the emotional nature of a man singing about life being hard cannot be taken lightly in relation to his suicide mere weeks later.

There was never an official music video for “All Apologies”. There was never really any time for that. There was talk of the band shooting a video that re-created the Kennedy Assassination but, with cream pies instead of guns. But instead, the live MTV Unplugged version of the song ended up being the de-facto official music video and, as such, is the one that I will play for you now. For those whose musical history is relatively modern, the death of Kurt Cobain resonated on an emotional scale every bit as large as that of the death of Elvis and the murder of John Lennon did for those acquainted with the early days of Rock n’ Roll. It heralded the end of musical era for many who were fans. But, as songs go, if “All Apologies” had to be the final song released by the band then, it was a great song to end with.

So, without further delay, here is a memorable perfoamnce of “All Apologies” by Nirvana on MTV’s Unplugged Concert series. Listen hard. Absorb it all. Reflect and enjoy.

#RIPKurtCobain.

The link to the video for the song, “All Apologies” by Nirvana, can be found here.

The link to the official website for Nirvana, can be found here.

Thanks, as always, to KEXP for supporting local talent. The link to their website can be found here.

The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History…Song #263: Lithium by Nirvana (KEXP)

This list of songs is inspired by lists published by radio station KEXP-FM from Seattle in 2010, as well as the latest poll taken in 2021 by Rolling Stone Magazine. For the most part I will faithfully countdown from their lists, starting at Song #500 and going until I reach Song #1. When you see the song title listed as something like: Song #XXX (KEXP)….it means that I am working off of the official KEXP list. Song XXX (RS) means the song is coming from the Rolling Stone list. If I post the song title as being: Song #xxx (KTOM), it means I have gone rogue and am inserting a song choice from my own personal list of tunes I really like. In any case, you are going to get to hear a great song and learn the story behind it. Finally, just so everyone is aware, I am not a music critic nor a musician. I am a music fan and an armchair storyteller. Here is the story behind today’s song. Enjoy.

KEXP: The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History.

Song #263: Lithium by Nirvana.

Lead singer of Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, insisted that the song, “Lithium” was not about him. The lyrics to the song speak of a man who has lost the love of his life and, in order to compensate, he has turned to religion as a salve. According to Cobain, the song, “Lithium” is about his disillusionment with religion, in general and, specifically, with those people who tend to use religion as a crutch to avoid taking action necessary to better or change their lives in some way. His lyrics were aimed directly at those who shrug their shoulders at life’s difficulties and simply respond with inaction, fuelled by the words, “It’s all part of God’s plan that my life is how it is.” When Cobain was a teenager, he drifted from home to home, often sleeping for days or weeks on the couches of his friends or his various family members, until he wore out his welcome and moved on. During one of these stop-overs, he stayed with a cousin whose parents were Fundamentalist Christians. Cobain has always maintained that the song was inspired by his few weeks with them.

“Lithium” appeared on Nirvana’s hugely important album, “Nevermind”. While “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is the song that many people think about when the album, “Nevermind” is mentioned, there are many other fans of the band who insist that “Lithium” is every bit the equal to “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and that, it may actually be better. One of the reasons many view “Lithium” as being such an important and influential song is because of the lyrics and the story that many feel they tell.

First of all, the musical structure of “Lithium” is fairly consistent with most “Nirvana” songs; there are soft, more cerebral sections to the song and then, there are loud, intense segment that act as a contrast. But, as good as the playing of instruments may be, that is not what makes “Lithium” important.

While Cobain has never admitted it, there are many, many people who have been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder who swear that “Lithium” is about them and, more to the point, that the lyrics in the song describe the Bi-Polar mind better than any song, movie or book has ever managed to do. Those who suffer from Bi-Polar disorder (and who have commented on this song) all say that Cobain captured the complexity of existing within a mind that is constantly moving from one idea to a conflicting, contrasting one and then, back again. “Lithium” has lyrics that describe this, such as “I’m so horny but, that’s ok, at least, my will is good.” Those with Bi-Polar disorder say that line after line read like verses in their own life story and that, as such, they are convinced that Cobain, too, was Bi-Polar. There are some reports from family members that this was, in fact, true of Cobain but he, himself, never said those words out loud, to my knowledge. Some say, “Lithium” was his way of speaking his truth, as it were. Please keep in mind that this was in the early 1990s and there was still quite the stigma to any form of mental illness, let alone, Bi-Polar disorder.

Regardless as to whether “Lithium” is really about Cobain’s disdain for religion and religious-types or if it was about what life was like for him inside his own head. “Lithium” remains as one of “Nirvana’s” most notable songs and one of the most important and successful songs in the last thirty years. When you listen to it, try not to be thrown by the loudness. The chaos and the noise and confusion are part of the message Cobain was trying to convey. Sometimes, as the old saying goes, the medium is the message, so to speak. In the case of “Lithium” the style of the song and the manner in which it is presented for viewing IS part of what Cobain wanted people to know. It couldn’t have been easy to have lived with mental illness for as long as he did; especially, having to do so under the brightest of spotlights.

As many of you know, Kurt Cobain died at his own hand at age 27. Rest in Peace, Kurt. Here is “Lithium” by “Nirvana”.

The link to the video for the song, “Lithium” by Nirvana, can be found here.

The official website for Nirvana, can be found here.

Thanks to KEXP for helping to inspire the writing of this post. The link to their wonderful website can be found here.

The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History: Song #406 …In Bloom by Nirvana (KEXP)

This list of songs is inspired by lists published by radio station KEXP-FM from Seattle in 2010, as well as the latest poll taken in 2021 by Rolling Stone Magazine. For the most part I will faithfully countdown from their lists, starting at Song #500 and going until I reach Song #1. When you see the song title listed as something like: Song #XXX (KEXP)….it means that I am working off of the official KEXP list. Song XXX (RS) means the song is coming from the Rolling Stone list. If I post the song title as being: Song #xxx (KTOM), it means I have gone rogue and am inserting a song choice from my own personal list of tunes I really like. In any case, you are going to get to hear a great song and learn the story behind it. Finally, just so everyone is aware, I am not a music critic nor a musician. I am a music fan and an armchair storyteller. Here is the story behind today’s song. Enjoy.

KEXP: The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History.

Song #406: In Bloom by Nirvana.

“In Bloom” comes from the most successful and influential album of the last quarter century Nevermind. It was released in 1991 and contains such stellar hits as “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, “Lithium”, “Come As You Are”, “Polly”, Territorial Pissings” and “In Bloom”.

When Kurt Cobain was writing the songs for Nevermind he did so in a way that drew from punk bands such as Black Flag and Bad Brains. The album, also, was influenced by Alternative groups such as The Pixies, The Melvins and early R.E.M.. Finally, many of the power guitar chords used can be traced back to rock icons such as Black Sabbath or more radio-friendly rock groups such as The Smithereens. While some may dismiss Nirvana as simply a grunge band from Seattle, the fact was that much of the reason for the enormous success of Nevermind was because it was such an amalgam of genres; all brought together in a manner that had never truly been done before. It had universal appeal. However, it was because of that universal appeal that Kurt Cobain feared its success and loathed the price he felt obligated to pay.

“In Bloom” is a song that chronicles the price of success for those who care about the craft of creative expression. Even before Nirvana became a headlining act, Cobain was distrustful of the music industry. He was very much enamoured by the purity of creating songs that were expressions of his inner thoughts and feelings. He truly liked the feelings that came with playing in front of a tightly packed, sweating, madly thrashing crowd. He admired other bands who eschewed the limelight and stuck to their core belief system. He respected fans who stuck by those bands because they recognized the integrity with which their conducted their musical affairs. But, sometimes, talent being what it is, it is hard to stay small and remain ensconced in the humbleness of one’s family. Sooner or later, word seeps out and a newer, larger audience becomes aware of your existence. Mathematics being what it is, eventually, your visibility starts to grow exponentially until it reaches the point when you no longer recognize yourself in the faces of your audience. That was the point that Nirvana had reached by the time Kurt Cobain wrote the lyrics to “In Bloom”.

By the time he was writing the songs that came to fill out Nevermind’s track listing, Nirvana’s audience began including jocks, preppy-types and all sorts of other folks who were simply there to have fun and sing and bop mindlessly along with the songs being played. The chorus to “In Bloom” captures Cobain’s disgust perfectly.

He’s the one

Who likes all our pretty songs.

And he likes to sing along

And he likes to shoot his guns

But, he knows not what it means.

He knows not what it means.

It isn’t easy to be creative and remain creative over the full course of one’s career. There is tremendous pressure to just play the hits. Some artists accept that deal with the Devil and become very successful as a result. But, for Kurt Cobain, that was a deal that he could never quite reconcile himself to accept. At his core, he was a musician, a writer or words and a singer of songs that had deeper meanings than his new audience could have ever imagined. Their unwillingness to accept him for who he felt he was contributed to inner, mental turmoil which, eventually, led him to take his life a few short years later. Being under appreciated and misunderstood is a tough cross to bear for anyone. It certainly was for Cobain.

The official video for this song won awards for Video of the Year when it was released. It draws upon the old Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show motif for its inspiration. The idea was to highlight the endless screaming and adoration being heaped upon the band regardless of the content of their lyrics. The band always found it somewhat amusing that the very people being mocked in “In Bloom” for mindlessly singing along were, in fact, always mindlessly singing along with the song (as seen in the video). If you watch this video, you will see that it opens with an announcer on screen. His voice will sound familiar if you close your eyes and are of a certain vintage. He is Doug Llewellyn, the announcer made famous on The People’s Court TV show. Anyway, enjoy “In Bloom” from Nirvana.

*As you read this, know that when I am finished with this post, I am off to Walmart, of all places, to have my life-saving first dose of Covid vaccine. The irony of this song and of Walmart saving my life are simply too rich.

Have a safe, meaningful day, everyone!

The link to the music video for In Bloom by Nirvana can be found here. ***The lyrics version can be found here.

The link to Nirvana’s website can be found here.

Thanks to KEXP for always understanding good music when they hear it. A link to their website can be found here.

***As always, all original content contained within this post remains the sole property of the author. No portion of this post shall be reblogged, copied or shred in any manner without the express written permission of the author. ©2021 http://www.tommacinneswriter.com

The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History: Song #499…About a Girl by Nirvana (KEXP)

This list of songs is inspired by lists published by radio station KEXP-FM from Seattle in 2010, as well as the latest poll taken in 2021 by Rolling Stone Magazine. For the most part I will faithfully countdown from their lists, starting at Song #500 and going until I reach Song #1. When you see the song title listed as something like: Song #XXX (KEXP)….it means that I am working off of the official KEXP list. Song XXX (RS) means the song is coming from the Rolling Stone list. If I post the song title as being: Song #xxx (KTOM), it means I have gone rogue and am inserting a song choice from my own personal list of tunes I really like. In any case, you are going to get to hear a great song and learn the story behind it. Finally, just so everyone is aware, I am not a music critic nor a musician. I am a music fan and an armchair storyteller. Here is the story behind today’s song. Enjoy.

KEXP: The Top 500 Songs in Modern Music History.

Song #499: About a Girl by Nirvana

As much as Bob Marley may be the face of Reggae music, Kurt Cobain and Nirvana were the face of 90s music and, more specifically, the musical genre named, for better or worse, as Grunge. Nirvana consisted of Cobain as lead singer, Krist Novoselic on bass guitar and Dave Grohl on drums. Nirvana’s roots were in the punk rock scene around Seattle (which also spawned Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains to name but a few). One of the characteristics of Punk Rock, in general, is a fierce sense of independence, an anti-establishment-ism, if you will. Nirvana possessed that attitude in spades. They cut their musical teeth thrashing about in basement clubs and private homes. Their concerts were hot, sweaty, crowded affairs that earned them a bit of a cult following and encouraged them to decide to release their own LP. That album was entitled Bleach. On that album was a song called, “About a Girl”.

Kurt Cobain was a talented songwriter. This was evident even before the Nevermind album that broke Nirvana and made them headlining superstars. “About a Girl” is a song about his girlfriend at the time and how he viewed their relationship. A guy writing songs about a girl is nothing new, I know. But, for Nirvana, this song was a big risk in their minds because it was how the mainstream world was introduced to the band. Cobain always wrestled with the commercial aspects of his music and often felt that he was betraying his Punk Rock roots with songs like “About a Girl” which he considered to be more of a Pop song.

Nirvana will appear several more times on this list before we are through so there is plenty of time to discuss the many aspects of what helped to make this band one of the best of all time. But, for now, know that success and popularity brought Nirvana to be recognized everywhere from the US Library of Congress, to Rolling Stone Magazine’s list of top bands of all time (at #29), to selling millions of albums and song downloads, to being inducted into the most mainstream of institutions, The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame during their first year of eligibility in 2014.

Kurt Cobain saw none of this. He died by his own hand in 1994. Kurt Cobain led a complicated, often conflicted life. He died young, as so many do, living in the crazy world of Rock n’ Roll. But, in his wake, he left behind a catalogue of songs that stand among the best ever written and recorded. “About a Girl” was the first that Nirvana released.

The video for “About A Girl” by Nirvana can be found here. ***The lyrics video can be found here.

Thank you to KEXP for inspiring me to do this blog series. The link to their live music website is here.

Thanks to Kurt Cobain and Nirvana for creating some of the best music of all-time. The link to their official website can be found here.

***As always, all original content contained within this post remains the sole property of the author. No portion of this post shall be reblogged, copied or shared in any manner without the express written consent of the author. ©2021 http://www.tommacinneswriter.com

*Header photo was taken by Frank Micelotta. His Instagram site can be found here.